Before I came to know Christ, I would often go through these seasons where it felt like I had no idea who I was. I would often take on the personalities and characteristics of who my friends were at the time, all the while having my own identity crisis. It then went from finding my identity in friends, to finding my identity in who I belonged to. By that I mean whatever guy I was “talking” to or dating at the time. They were giving me enough attention for me to feel like I belonged to them. The reason I was looking for validation for my identity in other people is because I thought I was supposed to find it in my earthly father, and when that didn’t happen I went to find it elsewhere. As a girl I used the relationship with my father to weigh my value. I also used what our relationship looked like to determine what my other relationships with guys should look like. Since I felt detached from my earthy father I determined my worth to be pretty low, and my relationships reflected that. I don’t say any of this to bash or speak ill of my father, but I say it to show you how Our Heavenly father, turned it all around and showed me who I was in HIM.
When we feel our relationships at home are broken, we begin to feel broken. We feel like if we don’t belong to our earthly father then we don’t belong to anyone, and we take on the spirit of this lost child. We even become angry with God asking us why He would give us this type of person for a father. For those who were abandoned by their fathers or just don’t know who he is, the feeling and void created is even worst than those with broken relationships. Now I can’t tell you why we are given the fathers and family situations that we get, but I can tell you that God does not make any mistakes. I also can tell you that it doesn’t matter who your father is or isn’t, nor does it matter what he did or didn’t do. What matters is that we ALL have a father in heaven and we can find our hope and identity in Him. When you begin to come to know Christ in close relationship, you will discover that the terms orphan, fatherless, foster kid, ward of the state will all be replaced by child of God. To my brothers reading this right now you are a son of God. To my sisters reading this right now you are the daughter of a King.
1 John 3:1 “Look at how great a love the Father has given us that we should be called God’s children. And we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it didn’t know Him.” (HCSB translation)
Here God tells us that through His love we are His children. He’s claiming us! Glory be God you and I do belong to someone and we do have a father!
Psalm 27:10 “Even if my father and mother abandon me The Lord cares for me.” (HCSB translation)
Pslam 27:10 “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” (NIV translation)
No matter the translation of that verse, the message is the same. Regardless of what your earthly parents do, even if they abandon you God won’t. He cares for you and will always care for you.
Even when the Lord is teaching us how to pray in His word, He tell us to begin with Our Father. (Matthew 6:9-15)
Romans 8:14-17 “All those led by God’s spirit are God’s sons. For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received the spirit of adoption, by whom we cry out, Abba Father! The spirit Himself testifies together with our spirit that we are God’s children, and if children, also heirs – heirs of God and coheirs with Christ seeing that we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.” (HCSB translation)
A “spirit of adoption”? Yes! God came to the orphanage of our sin, brokenness, and abandonment and adopted us into His family. Not only did He adopt us as His children, but He made us heirs to His heavenly throne and kingdom. We literally have a King as a father. Unlike our earthly fathers He is perfect and will always be perfect. And while our earthly fathers love us they will never love us like Him.
There’s a song by Christian artist Chris Tomlin called Good Good Father and it perfectly sums up what the Lord wants you to receive from this post. I encourage you to listen to the song and get the lyrics in your spirit.
You’re a Good, Good Father
It’s who you are, it’s who you are, it’s who you are
And I’m loved by you
It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am
Cause you are perfect in all of your ways
You are perfect in all of your ways
You are perfect in all of your ways to us
Our father is a good good father and being loved by Him is who we are
. I love my earthly father faults and all, but my comfort, hope, and identity lies in my heavenly father. My father is a king and I am His daughter. The amazing thing about that is so are you.
This is a good one sis.
I’ve recently learned so much about our adoption by God. Its very powerful when you think about it. Although He made us, He also adopted us?!?
I’ll write a blog post about this in the near future.
God bless you sis! I’m glad you’ve been able to release the bitterness from your heart regarding your earthly father.
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Sorry I’m so late with this response sis. We have an awesome heavenly father it blows my mind! I’m so grateful to be His daughter and I thank Him for taking the time to deal with me about my earthly father because He loves me that much. I’ll be looking for your post!
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